Reading Notes: The Monkey King, Part B

After reading part B of this story one situation stands out to me. That would be the meeting between Buddha and the Monkey King, when the Monkey King believes he should be the Lord of the Heavens. This incites a challenge from Buddha for the Monkey King to complete just the simple task of jumping from his hand. In the original story he cannot do it, but what I would like to do is to change the result of this situation. I would like to have the Monkey King to complete this task that was thought to be impossible. This would prove that he is worthy to be the Lord of the Heavens. But I want to add a few more challenges that are required of him to attain this position and to satisfy him. He can complete all of them, but one, which requires him to bring wrath on a certain village that had been inciting evil on its neighbors. The Monkey King could not complete this task because of a heart for the village, but in this he learns of his true power and of true compassion.

(Monkey King completing a challenge)

Bibliography: The Monkey King by R. Wilhelm; link to reading

Reading Notes: The Monkey King Part A

I really enjoyed this story especially the brave and powerful Monkey King. One aspect of the story I loved and would like to play around with by adding new parts is the Devil King storyline. I would like to keep with the theme of family love. So after saying that I would like to add that the Devil King also took the Monkey King's true love. Then I want to add in some sacrifice there, whether the Monkey King has to sacrifice some of his dear friends or some article that is extremely important to his Kingdom. This would add some suspense and some real connections with the characters. I would like to make this more of a battle than a fight, this way more sacrifice and loss can be added to make it more emotional for the reader.

(Monkey King and Devil King fighting)

Bibliography: The Monkey King by R. Wilhelm; link to reading

Reading Notes: The Two Brothers, Part 2

This is where the chunk of my story will take place. This part of the story leaves a lot for reinterpretation and for changing the theme behind it. One minor change I want to deal with is the brother did not get away and get split by a river, but the older brother caught the younger brother. Instead of the truth being presented there, he let his little brother flee and vow to never come back. The major change I want to add is that the older brother after a few years finds his wife with another man and all truth is then brought onto him about his brother. He leaves everything he has, sacrificing his wealth, his land, and his servants to go and find his brother. For months he searches for his brother and soon finds him. I want to show the forgiveness that the younger brother gives and the acceptance of him into his new home with great gifts.

(Two brothers)

Bibliography: Egypt: The Two Brothers, Part Two by Donald Mackenzie; link to the reading

Reading Notes: The Two Brothers, Part 1

I chose this story because I think it has a lot of potential to continue on the theme of love and sacrifice that I have been doing for these stories. The language is difficult to read so my main change will be in the grammar to make it easier for people to read and understand. One other big change is I want to tell more of the bond, maybe from childhood that these two have and tell of a moment where the younger brother was true to his word and did not go against his older brother. This would play into the later part of the story and lead to the older brother finding out about his wife and believing his younger brother a true man. This would show the love and trust between them. Another thing I want to show that is different is the struggle the younger brother had deciding between being loyal to his brother or betraying him. This will add to the sacrifice that he would make for his brother.

(A man working oxen)

Bibliography: Egypt: The Two Brothers, Part 1 by Donald Mackenzie; link to reading

Feedback Focus

These feedback ideas were very helpful. The one I thought was the most helpful and that I will definitely use the most is the copy and paste idea. It helped me focus in and not get ahead of myself before writing comments. This slowed me down and gave me more focus on giving better feedback through each individual paragraph. My second favorite was the reading aloud idea. This is one of my biggest problems, just speed reading and not gaining a true gist of what is happening and how the story could be improved. This concept kept me at a good pace and I was able to catch things that didn't make as much sense to me and allowed me to help with the flow of the paper. My least favorite, but still helpful idea was the timer. I don't have a problem focusing on a paper, and this timer made me nervous and kind of forced me to speed read through it. But this was helpful because it kept me under a time and helped me not to drift away for too long or spend much of my time in one section.

Overall these techniques were very helpful and I will use them all the time when giving feedback, not just in this class but in all my other classes as well.

(Cats being goofy)

Story: Sinbad Third Voyage, The Giant

The storm was growing stronger and stronger, and it continued to pull us where we did not want to go. Through the night we ran about the ship trying to keep it under our control, but that was worthless. Our ship was wrecked in the harbor of what looked like a deserted island.

(Deserted island)

When morning struck we looked around trying to see if where we had crashed and if there was any evidence of inhabitants, but to no avail. As the day grew longer and our repairs to the ship seemed pointless we began to understand that there was no escaping and that we would have to make our home here. To learn the land and to get to know where the best place to make camp would be we split up into two search parties. One went to the west and my group went to the east, agreeing that we would meet back at the beach where our ship was along the sand. We took off, not knowing what we would find, but staying as positive as anyone who has lost everything. As we continued to search we found something that was quite strange. We came upon what looked to be a deserted castle with towers reaching up to the skies and with doors that took two men pushing as hard as they could to open.

(Castle)

We ran inside yelling with joy and feeling that we were the luckiest men alive. Then we heard what sounded like thunder. But looking through a window we saw a blue sun-filled sky. And again we heard a BOOM! Confused, we huddled together against each other. We sat there hearing each boom get closer and closer. Then in the blink of a moment the doors, which took two of our men, swung open with ease. In came the most hideous creature. It stood probably fifteen feet high with one eye and a face crawling with disgusting things so that I couldn't even imagine where it came from. Not knowing what to do, we tried to walk around the creature and out the door without it noticing. With one swoop of its giant hand it grabbed the man right next to me. It brought him up to its eye and in a quick fit of rage tore him into two and began to peel off the meat like it was a chicken leg. Struck by fear we froze in our places as the giant walked calmly back outside. Not knowing if there were more outside we decided it best to stay inside. This continued for two days. It would come in and have a lunch of one crew mate then leave until nightfall. The third night we began to devise a plan, or at least the half of men remaining did so. And so we put our plan into place and waited for the giant to return for its night of sleep. When it did the crew and I waited for it to fall asleep. Our plan worked to perfection. We were able to stab the eye of the giant leaving it blind and also tying its feet together for it to trip. We ran as fast as we could to the door and back down to the beach to find a sight we did not expect. Four ships were waiting in a harbor with guns pointed. We ran and ran as fast as we could and turning back we saw five giants chasing after us and gaining ground. Canons began to fire and falling around us was debris from the explosions. The giants still running had the strength to deflect the cannon balls, but more kept flying. The giants searching for something to attack the ships with began pulling out full palm trees near the shore and chucking them towards the boats, sinking two in the process.

(Giants fighting)

The two ships left continued to fire killing four giants, but one still stood. The crew was giving everything they had firing at will and trying to keep their ships afloat. The crew realized they weren't going to kill this giant.

(Ship)

One of my crewmates, noticing that the giant was about to sink another ship, stopped and turned around. Not knowing what he was doing we stopped, yelling at him to come on. He looked at us with tears in his eyes and said "Tell my wife I love her and that I died with honor." In that moment he charged the giant with nothing but a sharp stick for a sword. We ran only looking back to see our comrade picked up by the final giant and eaten whole. But his sacrifice was not in vain. In that moment of pause for the giant to feast on the man, a cannonball that was perfectly aimed drove itself right into the head of the giant. With a loud thunderous boom, the giant fell, dead in his tracks. We reached the ships stunned by what we had just seen. We and the men whose ships had been sunk were swimming towards the ships. The ships not wanting to wait for any more giants to come their way took off with what was left of my crew, myself and a few other men who had survived. Looking back we knew we would not have made it if not for the love of our crewmate. We will never forget his sacrifice and we will live each and every day with the heart of two men.


Author's note: I devised this story from Sinbad's third voyage, the Giant. This story tells of the capture of Sinbad and his crew after a storm had washed them on an island. The original had a beginning portion of the story that included little trolls that delivered the crew to the island with the giants, but for the sake of word count I omitted this section and just had the crew crashing on the island with the giants. It tells of an evil giant that one by one ate member of the crew until the crew devised a plan to escape and injure the giant. One change that was different from the original was that there was a battle at the end of this story between ships and giants. I thought this would be a more action packed plot than the original story where they escape on rafts that they had built with wood from the jungle. I wanted to throw in some skills and strength, like being able to throw trees, the giants had and help the reader understand the difficulty it was killing a giant. Also I added the sacrifice to keep into play the idea of love and sacrifice that can be given for those we care about.

Bibliography: Sinbad's Third Voyage by Andrew Lang; link to reading 

Reading Notes: Sinbad Third Voyage, Part B

The second part of this story shows the plan and escape of Sinbad and his crew. I would like to put more emphasis on the plan and strategy of how to escape and maybe throw in something else that would bring more suspense to the story, maybe adding a little battle or traps set by the men that tricked some of the giants. Then when they landed on the other island, I want to use a different beast than a snake, something that brings more terror and haunts the crew and the readers. I think some more description can be used to tell of the giants and creatures instead of wasting time writing about waiting in the castle and being eaten by the giant. That has already happened once so I would like something new to happen.

(Many giants trying to kill the crew)

Bibliography: Voyages of Sinbad, 3rd Voyage by Andrew Lang; link to reading

Reading Notes: Sinbad Third Voyage, Part A

I chose Sinbad because I heard all about Sinbad growing up and a vaguely remember seeing a movie about his voyages. I thought it would be interesting to read them for myself and get to choose my favorite with which I can add a little of my own taste. One thing in this first half of the story that I would like to change is that the men were not restrained to leave the castle, they could've left at anytime the way they came in. I also would like to add a little more description of how the captain was eaten with a little something that the giant does to provoke more fear and suspense for the reader. I really want to hone in on the giant, his appearance and the purpose for the dwarfs bringing the sailors over made a little more clear.

(giant preparing his food)

Bibliography: Sinbad's Third Voyage by Andrew Lang; link to reading

Portfolio: οικογένεια (Family)

Paris, a Prince of Troy,  looked at her with lustful eyes, his desire overcoming any love for his country. Helen, the Queen of Sparta, stood there with tense shoulders aware of his staring and malintent. Then he walked over to her waving his shoulders as if he was the King of Sparta. But before he could say anything she slapped him across the face so hard that it left a red handprint across his face and she fled back to her true love, the King of Sparta, Menelaus. Paris, filled with rage and unfulfilled lust, began to plan his revenge, and from the corner of his eye he noticed a child, Lucious, the child of Helen and Menelaus. In that moment, his mind was made up and in the blink of an eye he acted. Hector, the future King of Troy and brother to Paris, and the Trojans began their journey back unknowing of the kidnapped child in the lower deck of the ship. And soon they sailed far away before anyone noticed that the child was gone.

Menelaus, filled with rage, burst through the door of his brother's war room as Agamemnon was discussing battle plans with his generals. "He's gone. Those thieves took my child." This was the chance Agamemnon was longing for. He had been looking for the opportunity to attack the Trojans, but had never been able to get the Kings of Greece together to do so. He sent out messenger after messenger to all of the Kings of Greece asking them to fulfill their promise of protecting the Queen Helen and her child. And after months of preparation Agamemnon and the Kings of Greece set sail, with the largest fleet the world had ever seen, for the largest war the world would ever know.

Then there was Achilles, the greatest warrior in the world, and his cousin Patroclus whom he loved dearly. The war had been going on for three years now, the Greeks gaining ground slowly, but losing many men in the process. Achilles, who had been protecting his cousin from battle, knew that soon enough he would not be able to continue to do so. He knew that if he was to leave Greece he would be leaving his best chance at eternal glory. This was not an easy choice, but he knew what he must do. He was not willing to risk the life of his cousin Patroclus, whom he loved more than even himself. Patroclus was furious at this decision, believing he was ready to fight and if it be to die. He had been secretly training with soldiers in other camps and seeing the struggles of battle. Filled with grief at the sacrifice his fellow Greeks were making, he knew he could not leave and had decided exactly what he was going to do.

(Battle in Iliad)

The day before they were to leave, Patroclus snuck out of his tent and prepared for the upcoming battle that was to ensue. And so hiding himself among the battalion of troops he went to battle, not knowing of his fate and willing to give his life for his King. The battle began. Patroclus, kin of Achilles was a natural-born killer. He killed dozens and fought bravely, but the forces were outmatched and were slowly being pushed back by Trojans cavalry. Not willing to leave his friend behind, he stayed to hold off men while fellow Greeks were able to escape, and he was captured. Thrown with the other captives, he slowly was dragged back to Troy. The news soon returned to Achilles of the bravery of a long-blonde-haired soldier who killed bravely and was captured. He did not care though. He went to Patroclus' tent to let him know that it was time, but he found it empty. His mind was racing as to where he might have gone and then it hit him. Patroclus was the soldier. Achilles knowing of Patroclus' deep desire to gain glory in battle knew that must have been him. This grieved Achilles deeply, and he planned his rescue of Patroclus.

(shows men using weapons)

Achilles, taking advantage of the full assault planned by Agamemnon on the front gates of Troy, joined in secretly with the forces. Soon the battle began. For hours the armies fought valiantly until the Greeks with Achilles at the helm pushed forward and continued to do so, barraging the front gate of Troy with sheer force. Soon the gate was useless and broken in by the Greeks and they stormed into Troy. Achilles began his search and soon with his overtaking speed was far ahead of the Greek army and already up to the King's Palace. His ferociousness and rage driven emotion was overtaking anybody who was willing to stand in his path.

Then in the courtyard he saw his cousin standing in chains next to the heroic Trojan warrior Hector. Hector was waiting for Achilles as soon as he had heard that the cousin of Achilles had been captured. He knew Achilles would come for his beloved Patroclus. And the fight began, the fight that would be spoken of for centuries. Both soldiers so skilled with a blade, continued to lunge at each other with their swords, hoping to end the life of the other and receive eternal glory. Patroclus was fearful of what was to become of his cousin, but Achilles was better, faster, and stronger than Hector. After minutes of fighting, Achilles found his mark and with one swing of the blade struck Hector down.

(Achilles slays Hector)

He cut Patroclus free of his chains and they began to flee. Soon they had run all the way outside of the city. Both men, exhausted, embraced each other with the love that only family could have. Their fate was not yet decided, but what is true of these men was that the love of family could not be so easily destroyed and it shows how far one will go for those whom he loves.

Author's Note: This story was influenced by Homer's Iliad which tells the story of the war between Greece and Troy. King Agamemnon, obsessed with power, used whatever he could to attack Troy and baited Achilles to fight with the idea of eternal glory.  It tells of the great fight between Hector and Achilles and Hector's demise. And finally it tells of Achille's anger about Briseis, then reconciliation with Agamemnon after the death of Patroclus. This story shows the heroism of Hector and sacrifice for his family and of the great warrior Achilles. One major change I decided to make is the switch of family love between Hector and Achilles because I thought it would bring a different taste of the characters. I made two other important changes to this story. First, to make it show Achilles' love for his family I made Patroclus his cousin. Second, instead of Patroclus dying he was captured and used as bait by Hector to lure Achilles to him. I chose the image I did because it is simple and shows men fighting amongst each other. My overall goal for this story was to bring to life the idea of what we would do for our family and the sacrifice that I believe we would all be willing to make for those closest to us. I want this project to show the significance and desperation that love gets us. That will be the main theme of this portfolio and these stories when I change them: love and sacrifice.

Bibliography: Homer's Iliad by A.J. Church; link to story

Reading Notes: Ovid's Metamorphosis, Part B

From this section I loved the story about Perseus and Medusa. I think this tale is a very fascinating one and can come from all angles and be made to be unique. I think one unique way of making this story play out and how I want to take it, is that the King and Queen didn't send Perseus to defeat Medusa, but that Medusa came seeking out the lives of the King and Queen and especially there daughter. So this story could be the rise of a mere man who becomes the hero and in the end finds true love from Andromeda. The story of this battle can be taken far and show some sacrifice and the destruction of Medusa.

(Medusa)

Bibliography: Ovid's Metamorphosis translated by Tony Kline; link to reading

Reading Notes: Ovid's Metamorphosis, Part A

I like the initial story among these stories. The one about the great flood and how two humans survived, a man and a woman. It talks about the recreation of the human population and how they turned to the God's for wisdom and understanding. I would like to do something with this story. I want to keep the initial part of the flood mostly the same, I think that allows for a lot of room to start a new chapter and be very original. One thing I would like to change the most though, is that these two aren't the last people on Earth. Actually there were two others who survived and the God's have decided that these two groups will be the start of the next peoples of the Earth, but only one group can start it, the other will perish. So the idea is to have the two pairs struggle amongst each other and in the end see on victorious.

(Great flood waters)

Bibliography: Ovid's Metamorphosis translated by Tony Kline; link to reading

Reading Notes: King Arthur, Part B

This section tells the stories of the adventures of two amazing knights of the round table. I would like to hone in on one story and make it new. My idea would be to have these two knights go on a quest of there own to honor their king, but in the quest they find something that would give them power over King Arthur. This leads them to decide between having honor or power. The way back home has them facing difficulties of which to decide and what the fate of King Arthur is hangs on the decision by these heroes. I want to show the struggle that they have for having honor, but also wanting power. It will show true sacrifice and also selfishness, I want to make the reader die to know the decision these soldiers will make.

(Knights debating with each other)

Bibliography: King Arthur by Andrew Lang; link to story.

Reading Notes: King Arthur, Part A

I like the idea of the sword and of meeting a sorcerer. The one thing I think would be the most fun to change is the quest idea. The quest for the holy grail is amazing and exciting, but I think where I can have some new fun with it would be to have a quest for something else, something that is similarly exciting, but different. I am thinking of some ideas from other stories, like a dagger that can turn back time for a certain length, or even a cloak of invisibility that can be used to the advantage of whoever owns it. This could put some division among the knights and their king and spice up the story a little bit.

(the pulling out of excalibur)

Bibliography: King Arthur by Andrew Lang; link to reading

Feedback Thoughts

(feedback)

I struggle a lot receiving feedback. I think it is because I tend to think of myself as a perfectionist and that other people just don't see things the right way or the way I see them. One of the comments on an article really stood out to me. It says be mindful that you have feedback, this is a good thing, it means you haven't maxed out on your potential yet. I love this idea because I always feel like I can't get any better at things, and that is not because I think I am the best at everything, it is just because I don't agree with a lot of people's advice. This shows me that the fact that people are even offering feedback is that I have room to grow and get better in a certain area.
I love giving feedback. I believe it is an opportunity to see someone reach a point where something clicks in their minds and you get to watch as their mind starts to realize the upward path that they are beginning to go on. It is such an opportunity to be encouraging, but also challenging.