Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Story: οικογένεια (Family)

Paris looked at her with lustful eyes, his desire overcoming any love for his country. Helen stood there aware of his stare and as he walked over to her. Before he could say anything she slapped him across the face and fled back to her true love, the King of Sparta, Menelaus. Paris filled with rage and unfulfilled lust began to plan his revenge, and from the corner of his eye he noticed a child, the child of Helen and Menelaus. In that moment, his mind was made up and in the blink of an eye he acted. Hector and the Trojans began their journey back unknowing of the kidnapped child in the lower deck of the ship. And soon they were far away.

Menelaus filled with rage burst through the door of his brother's war room as Agamemnon was discussing with his generals. "He's gone, those thieves took my child." This was the chance Agamemnon was looking for. He had been looking for the opportunity to attack the Trojans but had never been able to get the Kings of Greece together to do so. He sent out messenger after messenger to all of the Kings of Greece asking them to fulfill their promise of protecting the Queen Helen and her child. After months of preparation Agamemnon and the Kings of Greece set sail, with the largest fleet the world has ever seen, for the largest war the world has ever known.

Then there was Achilles, the greatest warrior in the world, and his cousin Patroclus whom he loved dearly. The war had been going on for three years now, the Greeks gaining ground slowly, but losing many men in the process. Achilles, who had been protecting his cousin from battle, knew that soon enough he would not be able to continue to do so. So in the wake of this understanding and with the knowledge that he would be leaving the possible chance at glory that was to be earned in the war that was happening, began to leave for Greece, not willing to risk the life of his cousin Patroclus, whom he loved more than even himself. Patroclus was furious at this decision, believing he was ready to fight and if it be to die. He had been secretly training with soldiers in other camps and learning of the struggles of battle. Filled with grief at the sacrifice his fellow Greeks are making he knew he could not leave and had made his decision of what to do. The day before they were to leave, Patroclus snuck out of his tent, and prepared for the upcoming battle that was to ensue. And so hiding himself among the battalion of troops he went to battle, not knowing of his fate and willing to give his life for his country. The battle began, Patroclus, kin of Achilles was a natural born killer. He killed dozens and fought bravely, but the forces were being overrun by Trojans cavalry. Not willing to leave his friend behind he stayed to hold off men while fellow Greeks were able to escape, and he was captured and brought back to Troy. The news soon returned to Achilles of the bravery of a long haired soldier who killed bravely and was captured, but he did not care, going to Patroclus' tent to let him know that it was time, he found it empty. Then it hit him, Patroclus was the soldier, knowing of his deep desire to gain glory in battle. This grieved Achilles deeply, and he planned his rescue of Patroclus.
(shows men using weapons and diplomacy)


Achilles, taking advantage of the full assault planned by Agamemnon on the front gates of Troy joined in with the forces. Soon the battle began, for hours the armies fought valiantly until the Greeks with Achilles at the helm pushed forward and continue to do so, barraging the front gate of Troy. Soon the gate was overtaken and the Greeks stormed into Troy, Achilles began his search and soon with his overtaking speed was far ahead of the Greek army and already up to the Kings' Palace. His ferociousness and emotion overtaking anybody who stood in his path. Then in the courtyard, he saw his cousin standing in chains next to the heroic Trojan warrior Hector. Hector was waiting for Achilles, as soon as he had heard of the cousin of Achilles had been captured he knew he would come. And the fight began, the fight that would be spoken of for centuries began. Both soldiers so skilled with a blade. Patroclus fearful of what was to become of his cousin, but Achilles was better than Hector. After minutes of fighting, Achilles found his mark and with one swing of the blade killed Hector. He cut Patroclus free of his chains and they began to flee. Soon they had run, all the way outside of the city. Both men exhausted, embraced each other with the love that only family could have. Their fate had not yet been decided, but what is true of these men was that the love of family could not be so easily broken and it shows how far one will go for those whom he loves.

Authors Note: This story was influenced by Homer's Iliad which originally tells the story of the war between Greece and Troy. King Agamemnon obsessed with power used whatever he could to attack Troy and baited Achilles to fight with the idea of eternal glory. While at war Achilles fell in love with a temple girl, who happened to be cousins of Prince Hector and Paris. It tells of the great fight between Hector and Achilles and Hector's demise. And finally it tells of Achilles and his sacrifice for love and ultimate death. I went along the path of family love is what ruled over all and left out lustful love of women who they barely knew, for the idea of family is the most important thing.

Bibliography: Homer's Iliad retold by A.J. Church Link to story.

5 comments:

  1. This story was very action packed! It also was descriptive which helped me to better picture the story taking place.

    I especially like the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, and how loyal they were to each other. Achilles going to rescue his cousin was a good touch. It was nice that you focused the story on family instead of going in the love interest route.

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  2. Hey John

    Like I said in your introduction I think youre areally great writer, I found your story incredibly easy to read and thoroughly entertaining. I honestly wish my writing sounded like yours. I really enjoyed the twist you put on this story because this is one of my favorites. I like the Odyssey more than the Illiad but one of my favorite things about the Trojan War is the showdown between Hector and Achilles. And I love the importance of family that you put on your story.

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  3. This was the same story I picked for this week. I like the change instead of killing Patroclus you decided to save his life to show the ideas of family love. I liked how i could clearly tell the difference between the original and your version. You had me intrigued the whole time. I can't wait to read more of your stories!

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  4. The main idea of this story is family, which is extremely powerful. Before I read this, I had heard of Achilles, Agamemnon and Paris, but I never knew the story behind them. The bond that Achilles and Patroclus have in this story is only one that could come from family. Achilles would do anything to ensure that his cousin was safe.

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  5. When I was looking through your stories to decide which I would like to read, I saw the tittle "Family."At first I was going to keep looking, but then I read the first line of your story and I was intrigued. The second sentence reads a bit awkward. It seems as though it should have a comma and then add the third sentence, rather than the sentences being separate. In the second paragraph, where you say they were discussing..." It might flow better to say they were discussing the matter at hand. I really enjoyed they story . You are great at keeping the story moving forward in a chronological way. I would suggest after you finish writing, read your story and make sure that you have flushed out all of your statements for someone who does not know what you are discussing. I look forward to reading more of your writing throughout the semester.

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